


Memories of a Freedom Lost

by Spookyrus



Category: Freedom Planet (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, And by that I mean the first game is the same but the second doesn't happen, Crying, Drama, Gen, Hospitalization, Major Character Injury, Memory Loss, Minor Original Character(s), Robot Fights, lots and lots of crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2018-10-30 11:52:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spookyrus/pseuds/Spookyrus
Summary: While cleaning up the remains of a certain invasion, Lilac is horribly injured. When she wakes up, she isn't the same. Will she ever be who she once was? Moreover, will she ever even remember who she once was?





	1. Riveredge

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12482492/1/Memories-of-a-Freedom-Lost  
> http://mpuppy4.deviantart.com/art/Memories-of-a-Freedom-Lost-Chapter-1-Riveredge-679900420

Sash Lilac stood at the top of a cliff overlooking a small village below. It was built beside a long river, which stretched away from the little village's territory and into the vast beyond. Not far from this village, the target: an enormous yellow machine, spherical in shape and packed to the brim with artillery, wandering aimlessly across the landscape.  
  
She stepped to the side as a motorcycle zoomed up, sending up a cloud of dust as it skidded to a halt. At the handlebars was Carol Tea, wearing a gleeful grin and looking rather energetic. Seated behind her was Milla Basset, clinging to Carol's waist and now glancing uncertainly over the cliff they had just barely not fallen off of.  
  
"Took you long enough," said Lilac, though her tone was pleasant.  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Carol responded, smile unwavering. "What have we got?"  
  
Lilac raised a hand over her eyes for a better view, a motion which Milla mimicked. "Something big," Lilac answered, "and probably stupid. A little too close to that town for comfort though. We should have been here sooner."  
  
Carol chuckled. "Don't sweat it, Heropants. We'll clean this up no problem and be home in time for my mid-midday nap. Got a plan?"  
  
"I think so…"  
  
"Good enough for me!"  
  
At that, Milla let out a howling battle cry, and Carol roared with laughter. "Hey, looks like somebody's into it! Alright, let's go kick some metal butt!"  
  
Carol jammed down the gas, and she and Milla rocketed down the cliff face. With a sigh and an eyeroll, Lilac took after them.  
  
"Milla, I need you to warn the townspeople. Tell them that they're safe, but they have to stay in their homes until we're done. Once everybody is inside, come meet up with us."  
  
"Okay!" After a moment's hesitation, Milla leaped off of the motorcycle and rolled across the dirt. She sat up and shook out her fur, before darting into the village on all fours.  
  
"What about us?" asked Carol.  
  
"We'll lead it away from here," Lilac answered.  
  
"And then?"  
  
"We smash it!"  
  
"Sweet! Then let's get on with it!"  
  
While Lilac and Carol trailed away from the village's borders, Milla centered herself in the middle of the town and magicked a large green cube to stand on top of.  
  
"Attention, people of town!" Milla shouted, cupping her hands around her mouth. "There is no cause for alarm! A big, scary robot is running around outside of your village, but we're taking care of it! Please return to your homes in a calm and orderly fashion-"  
  
This was immediately met with panic.  
  
"Hey, ugly!"  
  
The robot turned slightly, only for a sharp disc to be hurled into the side of its body. Before it could react, Lilac dragon-boosted clean through it, retrieving the disc as she did so. She busted out the other side and skidded across the ground, handing the disc back to Carol when she pulled up.  
  
"Nice shot!"  
  
"You too!"  
  
The robot turned on them, apparently still functioning just fine despite the Lilac-sized hole now through it.  
  
"You want some of this, buddy?!" Carol taunted. "Come and get it!" The girls sped away in the direction opposite the village, giggling to each other as they did so. The great mechanism followed on four pointed, spider-like legs.  
  
"You're in a good mood today!" Lilac observed as Carol continued to cackle. "You're not usually so eager to go out for a cleanup."  
  
"Yeah? I had a good nap."  
  
"Ha! Yeah, a good thirteen-hour nap. You may as well have downed a gallon of catnip-laced coffee."  
  
The two let out a joint shriek as something exploded behind them, and they glanced back shortly. The robot had opened fire.  
  
"Uh, we might want to speed this up," said Carol.  
  
Lilac nodded. "Right. We should be far enough away now. You go behind."  
  
"On it!"  
  
While Carol fell back, Lilac sprang up and gave the bot a good smack across the eye. It released another missile at her, but she boosted away before it could connect. When she landed, Lilac found herself at the edge of the river that she had observed from the cliff. It looked quite a bit more daunting down here than it did from up there. It must have been at least twice the robot's width, and its depth likely more than ten times her own height.  
  
"Yikes," Lilac gasped. "Guess we're not getting it across there…"  
  
She glanced back at the rapidly approaching robot behind her and clenched a fist. She dashed toward it, leaped up and scaled to the top of one of its legs. The robot frantically tried to shake her off, spinning around in circles, to no avail. Lilac caught sight of Carol, stopped not far from the action.  
  
"Aim for the eye!" Lilac exclaimed.  
  
Carol flashed a thumbs-up, then whipped her disc back out. She locked her eyes onto the robot's own as it spun, blinking a few times as she waited. Then Lilac pulled back on the leg she had climbed, and the robot recoiled to reveal an opening. The disc was jammed into it shortly after. Lilac swung off of the leg and latched onto the disc, dragging it down the eye and slicing it in two. While the now blinded robot stumbled and stuttered, Lilac hopped off and again returned the disc to its owner.  
  
"Did that do it?" Carol queried.  
  
The release of more explosives answered that question before Lilac could.  
  
Milla, meanwhile, was busy trying to calm the panicked rampage of townspeople. "Please calm down! There's no need to panic! Return to your homes and you'll be safe! Please? Pretty please? Vete a casa, por favor?" Upon receiving no response beyond more screaming, Milla heaved a sigh. "Or, you know. Just keep doing what you're doing. That's fine too."  
  
The panic was anything but aided by the loud, earth-shaking  _boom_  that came from the distance. Its force caused Milla's cube to poof out of existence, and she plopped down to the ground. She looked around and spotted the rising smoke by the river. "Uh-oh." Forgetting her assignment, Milla sped away.  
  
Carol slid across the dirt just far enough away from the explosion to avoid being impacted. She scanned the battlefield, and released a sigh when she saw Lilac boost upward out of the smoke. Carol swerved back around and drove across the charred ground for a head start, then jumped up to deliver a wild claw attack. The robot stumbled.  
  
Lilac made to deliver what would hopefully be the finishing blow as she descended from her escape boost. However, her shot was just barely misaimed. She clenched her teeth as she careened into the water below.  
  
Lilac closed her eyes tight for the impact, then reopened them once she had sunk a few feet. She shook herself, preparing another boost that would propel her out. Perhaps it would have done so, had she not misfired again and accidentally launched herself into the rocky floor.  
  
Carol delivered a good kick to the robot's front, knocking it completely off-balance.  
  
Lilac rubbed her head, opening her eyes again to find that they weren't focused correctly. However, that didn't stop her from staring up at the enormous shadow looming over the water.  
  
In a swift movement, Carol shot across the river edge like a bullet, tossing out her disc one last time as she did so. It sliced off both of the robot's back legs. It fell.  
  
When the robot crashed into the river, it caused all of the water to push out, slamming Lilac into the the rocks and knocking the breath out of her.  
  
Carol's motorcycle screeched to a halt. She snatched the disc out of the air. Behind her, water splashed up like a tidal wave, and she couldn't help glancing back for a moment to watch. "Alright! That was totally awesome!" she cheered, pumping a fist in the air. "Did you see that, Lilac?!" There was no answer. Carol blinked and looked around. "Uh, Lilac…?"  
  
Her heart stopped momentarily as something exploded behind her, and she swung around just in time to see a green blast completely obliterate the cripple that was once a dangerous machine of war.  
  
The explosion went off under the water just as it did above. Rocks were shattered and launched forcibly, debris crashed into each other, and mass clouds of bubbles made it near impossible to see what was going on. Among the carnage tumbling downstream were several little lavender feathers.  
  
"Milla!" came Carol.  
  
Milla stuck her landing just by the river, though she didn't address Carol's call. Her nose was working. She lowered herself to the ground, leaning over the water as she sniffed.  
  
"Do you smell Lilac?" Carol asked eagerly.  
  
The response wasn't exactly what she had been hoping for. Milla stood up sharply, eyes wide and a small gasp squeaking out of her throat.  
  
Carol faltered. "What? What's the matter?"  
  
She yelped as Milla launched herself into the water, splashing her shoes and leaving her breathing heavily.  
  
Milla made herself a block and fired it off, accelerating her downstream travel. She blinked the debris out of her eyes as she scanned the water for any sign of something even vaguely shaped like a person. She found something, and carefully swam down to examine it. Tendrils. It was Lilac. Milla took Lilac by the arms and hastily making another block, choking on the breath she was holding. The cube fired, and the two were sent back up to the surface.  
  
Milla grabbed hold of the shore and shoved Lilac up onto the solid ground. She struggled to pull her own soggy self up, and broke into a wet coughing fit when she finally succeeded. The moment that Carol arrived, she cast her bike aside and dropped to her knees beside Lilac's unconscious figure.  
  
"Lilac!" Carol cried, grabbing Lilac's limp arm and shaking it. "No, no, no…"  
  
Milla shook the water out of her coat. Carol didn't so much as flinch when it sprayed her; she was too busy checking Lilac's vitals to care. Milla crawled over and took Lilac's hand in hers, gazing hopefully at her resting expression. Then Milla's nose started working again. It lead her to Lilac's head. She sniffed closer, and a lump caught in her throat.  
  
"Carol," Milla whispered. "Carol…"  
  
"What?!" Carol spat, hardly glancing up from Lilac's wrist.  
  
"Look." Milla indicated the currently hidden back of Lilac's head. Carol's expression loosened uncertainly. She reached out, taking Lilac's head in one hand and lower back in the other, and turned her over.  
  
Carol gasped shortly, and Milla bit back a sob. Neither had ever seen this much blood in one place.  
  
Carol turned Lilac back over, trying her hardest to keep her breathing even.  
  
"W-What do we do?" Milla stammered.  
  
Carol looked up to find tears streaming down Milla's face. She didn't look much better herself. She held her hand out in front of her, shaking. The hand that had been holding Lilac's head. "I-I…" The words caught in her throat. Milla was staring.  
  
Carol took a deep breath. "Milla," she said, as steadily as possible in this moment. "Go into that town… and find its hospital. Or clinic, or infirmary, or whatever the closest thing they have to a hospital is. Find its doctor… and bring them here. Preferably… with an ambulance."  
  
"I-I—"  
  
 **"Go!!"**  
  
Milla scrambled back off to the village without another word between them.  
  
Carol stared at her hand again, stained with the blood of her best friend. Then she stared back down at her best friend. "It's… it's going to be okay," she murmured. "It's going to be okay. I promise. I'm right here. I promise."  
  
With that, she recalled and executed each and every one of the life-preserving techniques that Lilac herself had taught her.


	2. Sirens

Sirens blared around the capital city of Shang Tu. Streets were cleared to make way for the ambulance carrying its top-priority patient off to the city's best hospital. Tailing behind was the motorcycle of Carol's, which carried her and Milla just in the vehicle's wake. Milla had her face buried in Carol's back, wetting her shirt. Carol blinked her own tears away from her eyes, laser-focused on the road ahead of her.

Upon arrival at the Shang Tu Hospital, Lilac was immediately removed from the ambulance and hurried inside on a stretcher. Carol looked on vacantly from the sidelines, patting Milla gently when she hugged her arm.

They weren't allowed in the room while the doctors worked, much to Carol's outrage. Milla was able to convince her that it wasn't worth arguing, however, and they were sat in the hallway outside. Tension filled the air, the two taking turns glancing up at the glowing red sign over the door. Doctors and nurses passed in and out on various occasions. None were especially in a hurry. Milla kept breaking into periodic fits of sniffling and sobbing into her hands. Carol was too lightheaded to remember how comfort worked.

Hours passed (or at least what might as well have been hours; the clock was ticking unnecessarily slow) and Milla cried herself to sleep in Carol's lap. Carol fended off her own exhaustion with pointed persistence, though she realized that she probably wasn't helping herself by running her fingers through Milla's hair. She stared up at the red sign over the door, glowing just as bright as ever. However, barely a moment later, it flicked off. Suddenly, Carol was wide awake.

The door opened, and all of the doctors and nurses who had been inside filed out. A couple glanced down at Carol and Milla, but each continued on with their own business. Except for the last one, that is. He was a tall, aging bird man with gray-blue feathers, dressed in a clean white coat. He looked to Milla, fast asleep, then turned his attention to Carol and smiled gently.

"Carol Tea, I presume?" he said quietly, and Carol nodded. "My name is Doctor Romedius Quack. I've been placed in charge of your friend's care." He reached down to shake Carol's hand. "You made a good choice bringing her here. The treatment she received before she arrived may have saved her life, but her condition would have worsened had she not been left in our hands."

"So she's going to be okay?' Carol asked.

The doctor's smile weakened. "She's going to live."

Despite the two keeping their volume to a minimum, Milla stirred from her slumber. Her ears lifted somewhat as she gazed sleepily up at the doctor before her. "Can we see her?" she squeaked.

Doctor Quack frowned.

He led the two inside. Everything from the walls to the equipment to the bedspread was completely white, which made it easy to spot Lilac where she lay unconscious, hooked up to several machines. "Lilac!" Milla gasped, and rushed to her side.

"Be careful, now," Quack cautioned.

Carol joined Milla, and a smile wiped over her face as she gazed down upon her resting best friend. Lilac had certainly seen better days, breathing through a mouthpiece, earpieces removed and head wrapped in bandages, but the heart rate monitor beside her bed was beeping regularly. Lilac was alive. Carol pressed her palm against her forehead and brushed her hair back, chuckling lightly to herself.

"How bad was it?" she inquired.

"Nothing we couldn't handle," Quack answered.

"Is she in a coma?"

"A mild one, yes. She's responsive. Hopefully it won't last very long."

Silence passed between the three for a time, each content with watching Lilac sleep peacefully. Only the buzz and beep of machinery filled the air, alongside the distinct relief of tension.

"You'll want to see her report," said Quack eventually.

Carol and Milla watched him pull a clipboard off of a table by the wall. He handed it to Carol, who skimmed over the pages, unfamiliar with a majority of the vocabulary aside from "comatose" and "concussion".

"We're uncertain about the state that her brain is in," Quack explained. "It sustained some heavy damage from the injury. Her skull was fractured, but it should heal fine with our assistance. However, we won't be able to know how heavily her mental state was impacted, if at all, until she's awake."

"You said that she's responding," said Carol, brow furrowed.

"She is. But that doesn't mean that nothing's been negatively affected," Quack clarified.

Carol stared down at the clipboard she was holding.

"Um…" Milla tugged on Carol's shirt. "Is Lilac gonna be okay?"

Carol hesitated to answer, but put on her best smile when she did. "Of course she is," she assured. "She's  _Lilac._  As long as she's got something to fight for, nothing can keep her down."

Milla nodded, though her eyes betrayed her.

"You're welcome to stay here until she wakes up," Quack told them. "I know your home isn't especially close."

Carol nodded. "Right. Thanks."

The days crawled by at a pace uncomfortably reminiscent of rusted robot trekking through a slime pool. Carol and Milla spent most of their time in Lilac's room, staring like hawks whenever the heart monitor beeped even somewhat irregularly. Occasionally Quack and a couple of other people would come in and boot them out to the hallway while they changed Lilac's bandages or ran scans on her. They never gave the girls any news.

On the morning of day four, they received an unexpected visitor.

"Neera!" Milla exclaimed, tail wagging excitedly as she leaped out of her seat.

"Wha—?" a half-asleep Carol questioned, before sitting up quickly, eyes wide with surprise.

Neera patted Milla on the head when she approached. She then turned her attention to Carol. "Someone's been absent from their lessons."

Milla stepped away and folded her arms behind her back. "Sorry…"

Carol scowled, rubbing her pinky finger in her ear. "Yeah, nice to see you too. I hope you're not just here to give us stupid homework."

"Of course not," Neera scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous."

"What are you doing here?" Milla inquired.

Neera straightened herself. "After hearing of your friend's hospitalization, we decided that it would be best to visit and hear what happened for ourselves."

Carol's eyes narrowed skeptically. "Okay, hold on. Who's we?"

"We are we."

Carol's expression flattened as the Magister entered the room, followed shortly by General Gong. Milla automatically dropped to her hands and knees, but Carol remained standing.

"There is no need for that," said the Magister to Milla. "You may stand." Milla did as she was told.

"Oh. Okay, sure," said Carol. "You guys could have knocked, you know."

"The door was open," the Magister justified.

While the Magister and Neera approached Lilac's bedside to examine her state, Gong stepped forward and wrapped both Carol and Milla in a big bear hug. "Oh, you poor children…" he said compassionately. "This is truly a dark time in your lives." He released the girls, and Milla gasped for air. "But not to worry, friends! Lilac is one of the mightiest warriors I have ever known. If she can't recover from this, nobody can."

Carol sighed. "Yeah, thanks." She turned and left Milla and Gong to each other, while she stood beside Neera in front of the bed. Lilac looked exactly the same as she had when they first entered this room. "Um…" Carol began, "she's, uh, in a coma…"

"Yes, we heard of her condition from the doctor," the Magister cut her off.

Carol nodded. She glanced to Neera, whose expression was unreadable. "Um," Carol whispered, and Neera blinked attentively. "You're, uh, not actually mad at us for missing our lessons, are you?"

Neera's eyes shifted momentarily back to Lilac, before reconnecting with Carol's. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Take as long as you need."

Carol smiled slightly.

The Magister stood with his eyes closed, head lowered in thought. "This dragonblood is a hero among our people, as well as a great warrior in the making. Her death or debilitation would be a travesty." Carol glanced at him, and bit down on her lower lip as he mused. Then he lifted his head. "We will be paying the expenses of her care. Hopefully it will be one load lifted from your shoulders."

Carol took a moment to process this. When this moment was over, her eyes lit up. "Oh my gosh— I hadn't even thought of that! That many crystals would totally bust our budget! But we don't have to pay it?" The Magister nodded. Carol grinned. "Aw, yes! That's a  _massive_  lifesaver! Ha ha!" Neera rolled her eyes.

"It is the least we can do," the Magister said.

"Carol!" Milla exclaimed. "I have an idea! Let's have a party for Lilac when she wakes up! Then she won't have to feel bad for being asleep so long."

"A hero's welcome home from the greatest battle of all," Gong concurred.

Carol nodded, toothy grin still shining bright. "Yeah, let's do that! We have plenty of cash for it, that's for sure. And it'll make her feel better. Good idea!" Milla pressed her hands together cheerfully.

The visitors left, and time marched on. Days became a week, and with no change, nor any signs of it, Milla grew restless. Sometimes Doctor Quack would have to scold her when he caught her curled up on the bed at Lilac's feet. Other times Carol would wake up too early in the morning to the sound of whining. There came a point when she became a bit grating to the doctor, and he sent her off with one of the nurses to go for a walk outside. Thankfully, she was significantly less stressed out when she returned.

Carol, on the other hand, was adamant about staying right where she was. She never left Lilac's room, not once, and unlike Milla, she didn't make any noise about it. She didn't even make any noise about Milla's noise. If she was bored, she would put on one of the seemingly hundreds of old VHS movies sitting in a cabinet by the TV. If she was hungry, she'd hand a couple of crystals to Milla and ask her to fetch something from the vending machine in the hall. Not a single time did she set foot any farther than just outside the door.

On the afternoon of day eight, Doctor Quack stepped over a sleeping Milla and stood in front of the TV, blocking Carol's view of the old VHS movie she was only half paying attention to.

"I know I said that you can stay here until she wakes up," said Quack carefully, "and that offer hasn't changed. But… don't you have anything better to do than just sit here until that time comes?"

Carol shook her head, loudly digging through the small chip bag sitting in her lap. "Not without Lilac."

"I understand that you are concerned, but you aren't accomplishing anything by doing this. Well, aside from emptying out our vending machines, that is."

Carol chuckled dryly and shoved another chip into her mouth. "Yeah, I know. But that's not the point." She wiped her glove across her face. "I'm going to be here when she wakes up. That's it."

"But… she likely won't wake up for some time. You could be here for upwards of a month as far as we know."

"It'll be worth it."

Quack blinked at her and scratched his head. "Hm. Well, I suppose I can't dissuade you if you have your heart set on it."

"Nope," Carol responded flatly. "On the bright side, you could probably swim in the buckets of crystals I'm dumping into your contraption in the hallway. So enjoy the extra funds."

Quack shook his head and returned to his paperwork.

For a while, though it hadn't been even two weeks, it seemed almost like the stay here in this hospital would go on forever. Each day felt uncomfortably similar; Carol and Milla would get up. Doctor Quack would come in. He would either do paperwork or work with Lilac, and in the latter case, the girls would have to wait outside. Then they would spend the rest of the day doing everything in their power to not bore themselves to death.

"When is Lilac gonna wake up?" Milla asked tiredly on night eleven, as she laid across two chairs to rest her head in Carol's lap.

"I don't know," Carol sighed, and Milla's head grew heavy as she ran her hand across the pup's ear. "I don't know, Milla."

The girls awoke the next morning to find Doctor Quack fussing over Lilac's machinery. Her earpieces were reconnected.

"She's waking up?" Milla gasped, tail thumping.

"Stay over there," Quack instructed when they tried to get a closer look. Milla held her hands over her mouth. Carol clenched a fist at her side. What might have been a couple minutes or a couple hours passed as the doctor fiddled with and refigured machines. A disoriented groan escaped Lilac's throat, and she shifted under the bedsheets.

And then, her eyes opened.

Carol approached the bed, breath held, Milla following close behind. Lilac blinked a couple times, then squinted and inhaled sharply. Her arm lifted weakly, hand raised gently to her head, shaking. She was breathing unevenly.

"Lilac…?" Milla squeaked.

Suddenly, Lilac gasped, her eyes shooting wide open. Her legs moved, and she attempted to back against the bedframe, but only got so far. The heart monitor quickening, her gaze met Milla's, then darted to Carol's.

Carol felt something ice cold pierce her. These eyes she looked upon were foreign.

"Miss Sash?" Quack spoke, placing his hand on the table beside the bed, and Lilac swung to face him. Something that was likely supposed to be words passed across her lips, but they weren't interpretable. She looked again to Carol and Milla, seemingly unable to choose which she should fixate on. "Uh-oh."

"Lilac…" Carol tried, but Lilac only responded by clenching her eyes shut and attempting to pull the covers over her face.

"I'm sorry, but you two need to leave."

"What?! No, wait!"

Carol's protests were feeble, and Quack had removed her and Milla from the room before either was completely sure what was happening. "I need assistance here!" Quack called down the hall.

Milla latched onto Carol again, but she didn't feel it. She could hear Lilac's voice inside, fragmented and afraid. Nurses hurried into the room at the doctor's call, but Carol was frozen here, outside. Her veins ran cold as she listened.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay. It's okay, calm down. Can you understand me? My name is Doctor Quack. I'm not going to hurt you…"


	3. Distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving the news, Carol and Milla are given time to grieve.

"She has  _what?!"_  
  
"Retrograde amnesia."  
  
"What the heck does that mean?!" Carol shrieked.  
  
Doctor Quack signaled for her to lower her voice. Carol looked to the door that they stood outside of. It was closed tight, the blind pulled down over the window. Although her eyes could not see through, Carol knew that her voice could pierce that barrier, and the volume would only raise panic in her bedridden best friend. So, rather than screaming further, she let her hyperventilation do the talking for her.  
  
"It means that she's lost her memories," the doctor explained, moderate and gentle in his tone. "I'm afraid her injury was more severe than we had expected..."  
  
"Lost her... Lost her..." Carol couldn't bring herself to repeat the entire thought. She swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head, refusing eye contact. "So, she just... can't remember anything?"  
  
The doctor clenched his teeth, nervously glancing back over his notes. "Well, she hasn't forgotten everything, per say, exactly... She wouldn't be alive if she had. That is, you see, she's retained basic functions, breathing, eating, etcetera... We're still testing, but she seems to at least mostly recall how to speak, and—"  
  
"But  _her?"_  Carol cut him off, and he stared down at her uneasily. "Her, her past? Her friends?  _Who she is?_ It's, it's all just... gone?"  
  
The doctor lowered his head solemnly. "I'm sorry."  
  
Carol pressed her palm against her forehead.  
  
"I'll give you some time."  
  
As soon as Doctor Quack was gone, whatever Carol's gut had been holding in place finally snapped. Becoming very lightheaded, she stumbled back slightly, landing in the chair behind her. She buried her face in her hands, choking on her sobs. The tears kept coming, no matter how many times she wiped them away. They wouldn't stop. She couldn't stop them.  
  
She was only vaguely aware of the presence of somebody standing over her. She didn't have it in her to crane herself up from this position and see who it was. She didn't need to see to identify them, however. The touch of a small hand on her shoulder was enough to know.  
  
Milla sat down on the chair beside Carol. Apparently, her presence was the push that Carol needed to collect herself, as she wiped her eyes one last time and turned her head away. Milla rested her hand on Carol's. For a time, the hall was silent, each of its two inhabitants clouded with their own dread.  
  
When Milla finally broke and buried her face in Carol's stomach, Carol didn't say anything. Her head was spinning with all the worst thoughts.  
  
They weren't allowed back into Lilac's room that day. They sat outside for hours, not a word between them, not a word to the doctor when he explained the results of Lilac's tests, not a word when they fell asleep far too early in the afternoon.  
  
The first thing Carol did when she awoke the next morning was ask if she could go inside. The answer was still no.  
  
The day would likely have passed the same as the one before if it weren't for the nurse forcibly grabbing the unresponsive Carol by her scruff and dragging her and Milla off to another wing. Carol didn't feel like fighting. She barely registered brushing her teeth and removing her clothes; the process was robotic. She stood in the shower, water running too hot, staring vacantly at the wall for longer than she probably should have. She forgot what she said to the nurse who was calling for her immediately after she said it.  
  
Despite the depressing emptiness in her stomach, Carol wasn't hungry. It was consuming, however, to poke at the food that was placed in front of her with her chopsticks. Milla was able to make mild small talk with the nurse while she ate, but never gave so much as a glance to Carol. Carol was grateful for that, or at least she would have been if she had noticed.  
  
When the nurse offered to take them outside, Carol refused. Milla stared back at her as she departed, not a doubt in her mind that poor Carol would spend the rest of the day alone in that chair outside of Lilac's room. But unlike Carol, Milla wasn't given a choice.  
  
The courtyard was bright with sunlight, the air chilled by a breeze. The stone paths were lined with beautiful flowers and lush grasses. Everything about this place was meant to be comforting, and to Milla, it had been for the past week. The fresh air was much more breathable than the stuffy air confinement of the hospital halls, and on a couple of occasions while wandering around out here, she had stumbled across an animal to play with. It had allowed her to forget about the situation, to forget her worries and, at least for a time, act like nothing was wrong. Like everything was going to be okay.  
  
But she couldn't pretend anymore. Not after yesterday.

  
Today, the outside felt just as confining as the inside. Walls or otherwise, she was confined, trapped in a world with a Lilac who didn't recognize her, who could only look at her in fear. Milla couldn't erase that image from her memory.

After several minutes, Milla realized that she was walking in circles. With a sigh, she sat herself down on a bench and stared out at the fountain in the courtyard's center. It gently poured water into the pool beneath it, giving only the softest of trickling sounds. The droning of it echoed in Milla's head.

Lilac. Lilac was so afraid.

Carol. Carol was so upset.

Milla stared up at the bright blue sky, so different from, so much more encouraging than the dark, bleak hallways inside. If Lilac and Carol couldn't be strong, then what was  _she_ going to do?

An hour or so later, Carol was nudged awake, and she looked up to see Milla holding a bag of chips in front of her.

The afternoon of the third day since Lilac had awoken, and Carol and Milla were finally allowed into her room again. Unfortunately, they were forced to sit quietly off to the side.

Lilac seemed to have calmed down dramatically, though she was a bit frightened by their arrival. But the panic from the last time Carol and Milla had seen her was gone from her reactions. Once they were settled in the seats at the back of the room, she seemed more confused than anything else. She glanced curiously at them now and again, and Carol couldn't help but be grateful when the doctor regained her attention.

She couldn't seem to remain steadily focused on the doctor when he talked to her, like her attention could be taken away by the slightest of disturbances. Carol and Milla's presence was much more than just a  _slight_  disturbance. She was also a bit twitchy, Carol observed when she accidentally shifted her chair across the ground and Lilac jumped at the sound it made.

But the thing that got to Carol most was just how jittery Lilac was. Her body was shaking.  _Constantly._ The way that her hands rattled alone made this abundantly clear. She looked breakable.  _Fragile._ Like some old, unstable structure that could collapse at any moment.

Lilac wasn't supposed to be  _fragile._

Eventually, Lilac gathered enough of herself to say something. She attempted to keep her tone quiet, but the girls could still hear. Though she was mostly calm, her voice was shaking as she made her inquiry.

"Hhh... Who're they...?"

Carol's heart gave an irregular beat.

"Those are your friends," Doctor Quack explained carefully, trying his best to keep a soft smile. Carol saw the uncertain glance he shortly flashed in her direction. "They were with you when you were hurt, and they brought you here so we could help you. They just want to make sure that you're okay."

"Oh." Lilac looked to them again. She hesitated momentarily, before opening her mouth again and letting out a pathetically weak, "Hhh... Hi..."

Milla smiled gingerly back at her, waving her hand. But Carol couldn't stop herself from grimacing. Seeing the disappointment in Carol's expression, Lilac looked down at the covers in shame. Milla gave a small sigh.

"You'd like to know their names, wouldn't you?" the Doctor inquired, and Lilac nodded. "The green one is named 'Carol.'"

Lilac looked to Carol again, only for Carol to hastily duck her head under the guise of fixing her hair. Lilac scanned Carol up and down before tentatively turning back to the doctor.

"Kay-er... Nngh..." Lilac attempted, noticing her trip-up and pausing to grumble at herself. "Kar... Nn..."

"Care-ol," the Doctor corrected. "It's easier if you try splitting it up, see? Try again."

"Kayr-ol," Lilac mimicked. "Ka— Care— Care-ol. Carol. Carol?"

"That's right! Very good, very good." Lilac's eyes glittered at the praise. "Now, the white one is named 'Milla.'"

"Meee... la. Mii-lla. Milla."

Milla's came more easily, Carol couldn't help but notice. She cast a quick glance to Milla beside her. Her eyes were glued to Lilac, painted over with apprehension. Her hands were folded stiffly in her lap. Carol scolded herself for the negativity of her previous thought.

"Kare... Carol. Milla. Carol and Milla."

"Excellent! That was very good." Lilac smiled somewhat. "Do either of those names sound familiar to you at all?"

Lilac stared down at the bedsheets, brow knitted in concentration. She was silent for a prolonged amount of time, until she gave a small, frustrated grumble. "No..."

"Okay. That's alright," the doctor assured her, even though it wasn't. "It will come to you in time."

"Oh... really?" Lilac questioned.

The doctor took a moment to answer, but he held his smile when he did. "Yes. Of course it will."

While he turned around to fiddle with paperwork and Carol hugged herself, Milla stood up and approached Lilac's bedside. Lilac recoiled slightly at the approach, but Milla held her hand up gently. Smiling bright, Milla said, "Hi, Lilac."

 

Lilac's eyes searched Milla, though what for exactly was unclear. She must have found it, because her tension eased slightly. "Hhh... Hi..." she responded, "Mm-Milla..."

 

Milla nodded cheerfully. "How are you doing?"

 

"Oh." Lilac pulled her blanket up, averting her eyes shyly. "Uhmm... I'm, fine. Um, uh... How're you?"

 

"I'm fine too," Milla replied.

 

Carol's claws sank into her arms.

"We've been working on repairing Miss Lilac's comprehension and motor functionality..." said Doctor Quack as he turned around with a stack of books and papers in his hand. He looked to Milla, staring curiously back at him, and he blinked. "Er, that is, we're re-teaching her how to read and write." Milla nodded in understanding, and Quack grinned nervously. "Um... Would you like to help?"

"Okay!" Milla agreed enthusiastically. She looked to Lilac, who was looking to her. She gave a short nod of assurance, and Lilac seemed to be comforted by it. Milla then glanced back at Carol. Carol was looking at her feet. Milla frowned, but was spared the choice of saying anything when the doctor handed a book to her.

"These kinds of things take time, so we're just starting with the basics," he explained. "This is a beginner's story book. Just read aloud and keep the pages where she can see so she can follow along, alright?"

"Alright," said Milla, and she flipped the book open to the first page. She leaned over the bed and propped the book up. Lilac's grip on the covers loosened slightly.

Carol didn't pay attention to the story as Milla told it, nor whatever Doctor Quack was doing in the meantime. Carol was affixed to Lilac, leaned over slightly to see the book. She wasn't actually reading, though, judging by the movements of her eyes. She was just looking at the pictures. Milla's tone was light and melodic as she read, like she was reading to a small child. It made Carol uncomfortable to listen. In contrast, Lilac seemed plenty comfortable. Whether it was Milla's tone or not was questionable, but Lilac's tension was eased. She trusted Milla.

When the story had concluded, the doctor slipped a clipboard and a blank piece of paper into Lilac's lap, and Lilac tensed up again. The doctor told Milla to help her write down the first sentence in the book. However, when the pencil was handed to Lilac, she could barely hold it. Milla had to fix the way she was holding it. While Milla was encouraging, Lilac was uncertain, unconfident with her shaky hands. Gently, she lowered the tip to the paper. It gave a small  _tap,_ and left a small scribble. Lilac's brow furrowed and she lowered her head, placing the pencil down.

From the back of the room, a chair scraped loudly against the floor. Milla turned just in time to see Carol slam the door to the hallway behind her.

Gritting her teeth, Milla glanced to Lilac. She apparently wasn't given much time to focus on Carol's leaving since the doctor was attempting to hold her attention, but she was nevertheless rattled by it. Milla bit her lip, then quietly stood up and slipped away.

When she stepped into the hall, carefully closing the door behind her, she saw Carol seated in the chair that she seemed to favor, face buried in her hands.

"Carol...?" Milla squeaked worriedly.

"This is all my fault," Carol breathed.

Milla's eyes widened, and she clutched a hand to her chest. "What?!" she cried. "How is it your fault?!"

"I could have saved her!" Carol snapped. She set her hands back in her lap, revealing tears streaming down her cheeks. She glared at Milla. "If I had been paying better attention, this wouldn't have happened!" She turned her head away. "But I wasn't. And it did. And now... Now..."

Her shoulder was gripped forcefully, causing her to turn back around. She was met by Milla's eyes, burning into her own. "That's stupid," said Milla pointedly. "Don't say that. If it's your fault, then it's my fault too."

Carol's brow furrowed, and she yanked her shoulder away. "No it isn't. Why would it be your fault?"

"I'm the one who destroyed the robot."

Carol paused, realization crossing her expression. She looked around, eyes lost, before she lowered her gaze and wrapped her arms around herself again.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it was, Carol," Milla growled harshly. She clenched her teeth tightly and spat, "It doesn't matter if it was your fault or my fault or Lilac's fault or the robot's fault! It doesn't matter!!" She stood stiff, fists clenched at her sides. Then she softened. Carol was refusing eye contact with her. She hung her head. "It doesn't matter..."

Carol stood up. Milla sniffled as she approached, averting her eyes shamefully. Then Carol embraced Milla, pulling her tightly to her chest, and Milla went limp in her arms.

"We're going to get through this," Carol promised, and Milla sobbed into Carol's shirt.


	4. Reconnect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Milla can't seem to make any progress with Lilac, but she knows somebody who can.

Lilac wasn’t getting better.

Actually, she seemed to be getting worse.

No amount of help or encouragement appeared to be doing much for her. When she was addressed, she took to the comfort of her bedsheets. She spoke only when spoken to, and even then her responses were short and strenuously pieced together. When the doctor spoke about advancing her rehabilitation, she froze up near completely.

She didn’t show any interest or enthusiasm for getting better. Not when the doctor brought it up, not when Milla prompted her about it. From Carol’s point of view, she could hardly be blamed for it; the girl could barely even hold a pencil properly.

Days of attempts led to zero progress in the reading and writing category, and they seemed to have tried everything. And oh how Milla in particular tried everything. She tried having Lilac repeat sentences back to her. She tried reading one page at a time. She tried drawing letters and having Lilac trace over them. She tried holding Lilac’s hand while she traced over them.

But nothing changed.

No matter the effort made, nothing changed. For whatever reason, Lilac simply refused to give that effort back. To Milla, it was tiring to see the person who had once been such an inspiration have completely given up. To Carol, it was tiring to see the both of them in such states of frustration.

Nevertheless, Carol stayed in her chair in the corner, not wanting to take part. If Milla couldn’t change anything, then what could she possibly do to help?

But Milla wished that Carol would try. If only she would, then maybe things could be different. She had known Lilac so much longer than Milla had. She probably knew her a lot better than Milla did. Carol could have made a breakthrough, if only she would try. But she wouldn’t, and Milla knew it was because of how much she was hurting, and because of that did not suggest anything to her.

The frustration growing inside of Milla wasn’t directed at Lilac, but Carol. She didn’t like to admit it to herself, but she was starting to become downright annoyed. Lilac was Carol’s friend just as much as she was Milla’s. It wasn’t fair for Milla to be doing all the work. And what if Carol really could make something change? They would never know if she didn’t try. Milla hated to see Carol hurting like this, and she didn’t want to continue being mad at her. If only there was something she could do to make Carol try, Milla thought.

Lilac and Carol had always been strong for her. But if Milla had to be the strong one, she would do everything in her power to be just that.

When time was up for the day, Carol and Milla retreated to the hall outside to sleep. Of course they were offered a room, but given Carol’s ferocious attitude, it was mostly just for keeping their belongings. They sat down beside each other in silence, staring at the ceiling or floor or what have you until the exhaustion finally took them. Milla was often the first to crash, and Carol would awake in the morning to find the pup curled up against her.

Except for one morning, several days in, when she didn’t.

Red flags immediately raised, Carol looked around urgently. “Milla?!” she called. She stood up, panic beginning to rise in her chest… before she spotted Milla on the other end of the hall, in front of the vending machine. Carol felt herself ease, panic replaced with confusion. “Milla?”

Milla froze, fingers coiling, caught like a deer in the headlights. Carol approached skeptically, and Milla went about hurriedly finishing what she was doing. She had changed into fresh clothes and grabbed her backpack, which she was now stuffing chip bags into.

“What are you doing?” Carol questioned.

“I’m…” Milla held her breath, back turned. When she answered, she made it brief. “I’m leaving.”

Immediately, Carol’s expression contorted into one of horror.  _“What?!”_ she shrieked. “You, you can’t— Where are you going?!”

“To the palace,” Milla explained, “for training.” She turned slightly so to catch Carol’s eye, and was unsurprised by the shock and anger she was met with.

“You can’t leave!” said Carol. “What about Lilac?!”

Milla lowered her gaze to the floor. Then she picked it up again, giving a soft smile. Carol faltered.

“Lilac will still be here when I get back,” said Milla. “She wouldn’t want me to fall behind on my lessons anyway.”

“But—”

“I know the way. I’ll be fine, don’t worry. I’ll be back before the sun goes down.”

Milla nodded brightly, and Carol could only stare dumbfounded at her. Before she could protest again, Milla was already gone.

Carol stood by herself in the hallway in front of the vending machine for several minutes longer, consumed by her thoughts, until somebody with money in their hands came up and gave her a weird look. She shook herself, retreating back to her own area.

She stared down the door to Lilac’s room. The blind was pulled over the window. Her eyes scanned her shoes, since it was more comfortable to look at. Once she had collected herself, she flexed her hand, and began to reach for the door handle.

“She’s sleeping.”

“Gah!”

Carol stumbled backward. She swung around to find Doctor Quack addressing her with a stern expression. “I don’t recommend disturbing her until she’s awake.”

Carol’s ears flattened against her head. “Oh. Um, sorry.”

Doctor Quack shook his head. “You’re fine.” He looked solemnly to the door, and Carol followed his gaze. “She had difficulty falling asleep last night. It was very late when she finally did…”

“So she’s not gonna be awake for a while, huh?” Carol asked.

The Doctor shook his head. “No, likely not.”

Carol’s eyes remained fixed on the door. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, placing her hands in her pockets. After a moment, she started down the hallway, and the doctor blinked, looking after her curiously.

“Where are you going?”

“Nowhere special.”

The hospital didn’t see her again for three hours.

Three hours after she left, Lilac was awake. She had already been checked on, and the doctor had decided against rehabilitation this morning, so she simply laid down, clutching the sheets, eyes glued to the boring white ceiling above her. The sun shining in through the window to the left was separated from her by the thin white curtain on the side of her bed. Her head ached, and she was horribly tired, but not the kind of tired that could bring her back to sleep. She was hurt and tired and bored and couldn’t move, and all she could do was stare at the ceiling, without even memories to visit.

On the other side of the room, there was a knocking on the door.

Lilac’s eyes shot open at once. She sat herself up, backing against the pillow, eyeing the door with suspicion. Then the knocking came again, and she tensed up. She opened her mouth, choking on her own breath, before clumsily letting spill the words that she was supposed to say when somebody knocked on the door.

“Ch, c-come in…”

The door clicked open, and Lilac’s expression flattened uncertainly when she saw who stepped inside. It was Carol, cautious in her approach, one hand held behind her back. She looked up at Lilac, who seemed just as cautious as she did, before frowning and averting her gaze. But she caught herself, lifting her head back up. For the first time Lilac had seen since she woke up, Carol smiled at her.

“Hey,” she greeted.

Lilac’s eyes met Carol’s, and Carol held her there. It took a little while, but Lilac eventually responded.

“Hhh… Hi…”

Carol kicked the door closed behind her and walked to Lilac’s bedside, keeping her back turned away as she did. Lilac shied away from her.

“So, uh… how are you doing?” Carol asked.

Lilac refused eye contact, but answered regardless. “Uhm, I’m, fine.”

Carol nodded. “That’s good to hear.” She looked around awkwardly, tapping her foot a couple times. It made small claps against the ground. “Uh, the doctors haven’t been doing anything weird to you, have they?”

Lilac looked up at her, eyes glossy with confusion. “W-What?”

Carol clenched her teeth. “Never mind.” Lilac, though still apparently attempting to process the question, didn’t ask anything else. Carol bit her lip hesitantly before proceeding, “So… I went out this morning, and, I uh, got you something… Y’know, to maybe make you feel better…”

At the words “got you something,” Lilac sparked with interest. She didn’t say anything, but Carol seemed to have her full attention now. Carol chuckled lightly, then coughed once. “Um… here.”

Carol removed the hand that she had been holding behind her back, revealing the object that she was holding. It was a small, blue plushy of indeterminate species, with black button eyes and floppy limbs. It was very soft and cute, and the appearance of it caused Lilac to light up entirely. She reached for it shakily, and Carol extended it to her, gently lowering it into her grasp. Lilac leaned back, staring into the plushy’s expressionless face.

“What’s his name?” she asked.

“I dunno,” said Carol. “Why don’t you give him a name?”

Lilac lowered her head thoughtfully. “His name, is…” She smiled to herself, holding the plushy up proudly. “His name is ‘Blue.’”

Carol smiled too. “That’s a good name.”

After pulling up a chair, Carol sat down at Lilac's bedside. To her surprise, but not her displeasure, the gift seemed to have been enough to make Lilac comfortable with her. Perhaps it was just because nobody else was there, but she was even alright with talking to her. Although, Carol could have done without the first question she asked.

“What, um… What, is your name…?”

“Oh.” Carol held on that word for a moment too long. “Uh, it’s Carol.”

“Carol…” Lilac repeated. If nothing else, at least her speech was improving. She fiddled with Blue in her hands, making him wave at her. She had found entertainment, even If it was only in something small. “So… you're my, um… ‘friend?’”

Carol nodded. “Yeah. We've been friends for a long time.”

“Oh… Why?”

Carol blinked. She scratched her head, thinking the question over. “Well… It's kind of hard to explain. We met a long time ago… I mean, not a super long time ago, just, like, a few years… I was pretty little. We, uh, didn't really like each other at first. But after a while… we became friends.” Her gaze became cloudy, fixed to the floor. “Best friends.”

“What about the other one?” Lilac asked, and Carol lifted her head. “Um, Milla.”

“Oh. Uh, she came later.”

Lilac hummed understanding and went back to playing with her new companion. Carol gave a small, barely audible sigh. She glanced around the room, twiddling her thumbs, before landing on the nightstand beside her. More specifically, what was on top of it.

“Hey. Are these the books that Milla has been reading to you?”

Lilac nodded, and Carol took the stack of thin hardcovers into her hands, looking them over. These were for kindergarteners.  _“Honeybear and the Three Goblins.” “Little Airship Finds His Wings.” “The Big Bad Wolf Goes to the Moon.”_  Carol had to physically restrain herself from throwing up in her mouth.

She looked back to Lilac, who was now staring at her expectantly. Carol smacked her lips. “So, are there, like, any you want to hear again?”

Lilac tilted her head thoughtfully, then quickly indicated one of the books Carol was holding.  _“Bucky Blue and the Great Canine Caper.”_

Carol couldn’t decide if that made the name more or less original.

“Alright.” Carol set the rest of the books back down, then repositioned herself in the chair with her legs crossed. Lilac repositioned herself as well, holding Blue tight to her chest. She looked to Carol with a ready, childlike grin. Carol chuckled. “Alright.” She flipped open to the first page, skimmed it over, and cringed. She quickly collected herself, however, and she cleared her throat, Lilac leaning in attentively as she began to read.

“Once upon a time…”

When Milla returned that night, drowning in sweat and as exhausted as exhausted could be, she saw Carol sitting with Lilac instead of in her corner, and smiled to her approvingly.


	5. Try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Memories of a Freedom Lost now has a TV Tropes page! http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/MemoriesOfAFreedomLost

“Alright, you three.”

Too soon after Milla returned did Doctor Quack enter as well, and what he had to say wasn’t something that any of them wanted to hear.

“It’s time to turn in for the night.”

Milla’s expression faltered in disappointment, if not surprise. Fixing her backpack straps, she gave Lilac an apologetic look, before turning back to the door. Lilac looked on with a frown, which only became deeper when Carol stood up out of her chair. Lilac’s gaze followed the two as they began to leave. Her brow furrowed, something beginning to rise in her chest. Then, she allowed that something to spill from her mouth.

“W-Wait!”

Carol and Milla immediately froze in place and turned back to her. Lilac’s cheeks became slightly pink, and her fingers searched the bedsheets anxiously. She looked to the doctor, mouth hanging open for a moment before she spoke.

“Uhhh, um…  'S it okay, if… if they stay here?”

The doctor blinked. He glanced to Carol and Milla, who both blinked back at him. He looked again to Lilac, sat up in her bed and hugging Blue to her chest, eyes wide and pleading.

“Hm. Well…” Doctor Quack scratched his chin thoughtfully. Then he gave a smile and a nod. “I don't see why not. Go ahead.”

Carol and Milla cheered, back to Lilac's bedside within seconds, and the doctor chuckled as he left.

“Who’s your new friend?” Milla inquired.

Lilac’s eyes lit up at the question, and she held her stuffed animal out to Milla. “His name is Blue,” Lilac explained slowly. “Carol gave him to me.”

“Really?” Milla glanced at Carol, who averted her gaze and scratched her cheek. “That was nice of her.”

Lilac hummed agreement. “She also, um, readed... this.” She indicated the book sitting at the top of the pile on the nightstand.

 _“Really??”_  Milla glanced even harder at Carol, who tapped her fingers against her arm and whistled.

“Yeah. I, I like that one.”

Milla smiled and nodded. “I can tell.”

It wasn't long before a contagious yawn passed between the three of them, and it was mutually agreed that they should get some sleep.

Milla said, “We'll be right here if you need anything, okay?”

Lilac responded, “Okay.”

The three said goodnight, and Lilac curled up under the bedsheets with Blue in her arms. She fell asleep that night with a smile on her face.

The next morning, all three could certainly concur, was easily the most pleasant since their arrival. Lilac was the first to wake, stirring Carol and Milla from their slumbers with lonely calls. The two, though probably in need of another hour or so’s rest, quickly scooted their chairs over to Lilac's bedside at the sound of her cries. They passed the time with chitchat, which was quite easy to make, considering that Lilac had suddenly become highly inquisitive.

“Where’d Milla go yesterday?”

“What's the thing around Mister Doctor's neck?”

“Why’re my hands purple?”

She was so full of questions that Carol and Milla became slightly overwhelmed, but nonetheless did their best to provide answers.

“To the royal palace…”

“That's called a ‘heart-ear-checky-thingy.’”

“Uh, because you're purple?”

Lilac became more and more excited with each answer they offered, growing increasingly enthusiastic with her question-asking. It seemed that she had discovered a whole wealth of knowledge with these two! Surely their answers could add some weight to her empty noggin.

The question party was broken up when Doctor Quack returned, clipboard in hand and looking just as dull as ever. The girls were much more interested in the nurse who followed him, who gave each of them a breakfast tray. Carol hadn't actually seen Lilac eat since she woke up, she realized, though she may have just not been paying attention. Lilac's meal consisted primarily of some blended puree in a spill-proof sippy cup. Unsurprisingly, she couldn't handle chopsticks any better than she could a pencil. But that was okay, for now. She would get better later, Carol was sure.

Once food had been consumed, it was time to get back to work. Lilac was handed paper and pen, and once more the group set about getting her to write something, anything. But still, she was hesitant, and Carol could see her hands jitter. Even after a week, any markings she made were discouraging illegible scribbles. While Milla and the doctor poked and prodded her with advice and shallow encouragements, Carol wasn't interested in "helping." She was more concerned with Lilac herself, the small, defiant noises she made when she was given instruction, and the way her gaze kept wandering to the window.  
  
When the doctor stepped away, muttering something under his breath, Lilac sighed deeply. Milla gripped her shaking hand comfortingly, but she didn't react. She only held Blue to herself, staring out the window, at the world beyond her room. At this observation, Carol's brow furrowed with thought.  
  
"Yo, doc," she said, and everybody turned to her. "Why don't we put the books down for a while and try getting her out of bed?"  
  
Lilac's eyes sparked hopefully at the suggestion, and though hesitant, Doctor Quack couldn't actually think of an argument.  
  
When presented with a wheelchair, Lilac was skeptical. Despite her eagerness to escape the confines of her bed, this weird  _thing_ that she was required to sit in for that to happen was just the slightest bit frightening. Then again, weren't all new things to some degree? The doctor pulled back her sheets for her, and he and one of the nurses took her by the arms. Her breath caught when they sat her up, and her eyes searched the floor with cautious curiosity. Then, they hoisted her up, and she squeaked as she was plopped down in the chair. She immediately tensed when the doctor and nurse stepped away, glancing over the weird thing's edges and holding her hands stiff in her lap. Then, Carol handed Blue back to her, and she lightened up a bit.  
  
"You can steer it, if you'd like," Doctor Quack offered the girls, "but you have to follow us."  
  
Carol and Milla exchanged glances. Milla, figuring that she was just the slightest bit too short and weak for the job, gave Carol a smile and a short nod. So, Carol took the wheelchair's handles, and Lilac looked up at her.  
  
Those eyes weren't Lilac's. But they would be again soon, Carol was sure.  
  
The rest of that day, for what it was worth, was interesting fun. Lilac got to see the rest of the hospital, spending most of the ride in a stunned silence, eyes wide and searching every new thing that they could possibly search. Carol and Milla, meanwhile, got to find their own entertainment in entertaining her. Be it pointing out things and telling her what they were called, playing with Blue to try and make her smile, or slipping her a bag of vending machine chips and being scolded by the doctor.

However, in stark contrast to just hours before, Lilac was strikingly silent for most of the journey out. She didn't say anything to the doctor when he prompted her, nor to Carol or Milla when they spoke. She just sat quiet, trying to take in everything around her. Perhaps she was a little overwhelmed by all of the new? That was Carol and Milla's best guess. But after a while, after some time of wandering around, Lilac finally found something to say.  
  
"Why, 're..." she mumbled, before catching herself and trying to raise her voice a bit. "Why, does er'rybody... everybody else, get to..." As she stuttered, Carol and Milla exchanged glances. "Get to...  _stand..._  but, I..."  
  
"Why does everybody else get to  _stand?"_ Carol questioned. Lilac nodded slowly, looking up, but not making eye contact. Carol glanced at Milla uncertainly.  
  
"Well..." Milla said, "It's because... you're hurt. You... You  _can't_ stand. Not yet."  
  
"But I  _want_  that!" Lilac spat sharply, causing Carol and Milla to recoil slightly. At their reaction, Lilac grumbled, lowering her head and scowling at her lap. "I, want... to, walk. Like you."  
  
"You want to walk..." Carol echoed quietly.  
  
Lilac nodded again. "I... I want that. I wanna do that."  
  
Carol and Milla looked to Doctor Quack, who seemed to have been listening. He scratched his chin with thought, and all three of the girls stared at him expectantly.  
  
"Well... There's always tomorrow."  
  
So, the next morning, Lilac was once again pulled from her bed and placed in the wheelchair. This time, the doctor led the girls to a room marked by a sign that read "Physical Rehabilitation."  
  
The task was simple: hold the raised metal bars to balance yourself so you can stand. The problem was, Lilac's legs and arms were both jelly, and she collapsed the second that the doctor let go of her. So, the new plan became not to let go of her at all. Then, the new problem became the extreme distrust Lilac held against her limbs after that first fall. She was so unsure of herself that she became completely frozen, eyes fixed to the ground and nervous sweat dripping down her forehead.  
  


"Come on, Lilac," Carol encouraged, "you can do it. It's easy."  
  
Lilac grumbled, gaze remaining fixed to the floor.  
  
"I'm not going to let go," Doctor Quack assured her. "It's okay. Just focus on steadying yourself. Can you do that?"  
  
Lilac grumbled again. She glanced up at Carol and Milla, who hadn't been smiling until she caught their eyes. Milla lifted Blue up and made him wave, and Lilac smiled slightly back. It faded, however, when she looked back down. They remained there for some time, nothing happening. Only Lilac staring down at the floor.  
  
The doctor sighed. "Perhaps, this would be better held off until later..."  
  
"N-No," Lilac immediately protested. "I-I can. I can."  
  
"Are you sure?" the doctor questioned.  
  
Lilac nodded confirmation. "I can. Don't wanna wait."  
  
"If you're certain..."  
  
So Lilac kept trying as hard as she could bring herself to try. Her grip on the bars tightened and loosened on the bars, her legs rattled beneath her, and it was clear from the glint in her eye and the knit in her brow that she was as concentrated as concentrated could be. But whenever the doctor loosened up his grasp, even just a little, she let out a distressed whimper, and they were right back where they started. No amount of effort could get rid of that fear she had.  
  
Carol huffed, and Milla looked up at her curiously. Her gaze followed Carol as she stepped forward, and, without saying a word, gripped Lilac's arm and back herself. Lilac stumbled over a gasp as she looked to Carol, who smiled at her.  
  
"Don't worry. I've got you."  
  
A moment later, Milla appeared on Lilac's other side, having abandoned Blue to the parked wheelchair. She held the areas opposite those that Carol was holding.  
  
 _"We've_ got you."  
  
Lilac glanced to Carol, then to Milla, expression a little surprised. She saw their comforting smiles, and felt that they weren't letting go. With a deep breath, Lilac nodded. The doctor stepped back, enough to give them room, but not so much so that he couldn't act if something went wrong. But everything was okay. Carol and Milla were able to correct Lilac's grip on the rails, and straighten her back a little. She was steady.  
  
When Carol loosened up just a little, and Milla followed her lead, Lilac's muscles tensed. The added weight caused her legs to start wobbling more, but it was okay, because Carol and Milla still had her.  
  
"Breathe," Milla instructed. Lilac tried.  
  
"Try not to think about it too hard," Carol said. Lilac tried.  
  
With a little bit of effort, the shaking eased up. Carol and Milla loosened up a little bit again, allowing Lilac to readjust. After repeating this process several times, Lilac had both feet planted firmly on the ground, and though she was still shaky, she was alright. Carol and Milla looked to each other and nodded. Then, carefully, they slowly stepped away.  
  
She was doing it! Well, sort of. She still had to grip the rails, but even so, she was standing without being held. She looked to Carol and Milla, each with excitement and joy in their expressions, and felt some of that soak into her as well.  
  
"I-I did it..." she gasped.  
  
"You did it!" Carol and Milla cheered, and rushed to embrace her. The double-hug nearly caused her to fall over again, and the doctor chastised them for the hasty action. Still, once Lilac was back in her wheelchair, he offered Carol and Milla an approving smile. Satisfied with the outcome and Lilac's pleasure, the two shared a triumphant high-five.  
  
For the first time, Lilac was actually making progress.  
  
Twice a day, she was returned to Physical Rehabilitation, and a little at a time, she was improving. It would be some time before she could walk without support, Doctor Quack assured Carol and Milla to neither's surprise, but she would get there eventually. For the time, getting around via wheelchair and working with the metal bars each day was good enough.  
  
Still, it wasn't just the physical rehab that had to be worked on. There was still the reading comprehension and writing, however Lilac may have loathed the thought of them. There had been some semblance of hope that her success in the physical department may have encouraged her to try harder here, or at least distract her from her shortcomings. But no. Lilac was still as unsuccessful with and bitter about the reading and writing as ever.  
  
The biggest difference now was that she actually got to sit at a desk while she tried to write instead of in bed. There were also times when Doctor Quack would be busy and leave the girls to work by themselves, not that his absence made much of a difference. They were still trying a variety of methods to get Lilac going, and all of them still failed. She still had Milla leaning over her shoulder at all times as she worked. She still had to be corrected on how she was holding the pencil, because, as she had muttered under her breath on one occasion, "That's a stupid way to hold something." Still, nothing changed. She couldn't do it, and it was wearing on everybody involved.  
  
One morning, while Milla was dozing off and Carol was unlawfully flipping through the doctor's reports at the back of the room, the quiet atmosphere was broken with a  _snap._  Lilac had broken her pencil. It seemed that she had broken her spirit as well.  
  
At the sound of Lilac's cries, Carol and Milla immediately rushed to her side. They tried to comfort her, asking what was wrong, wiping the tears from her cheeks, placing Blue in her lap, but she was too busy sobbing to answer. They looked down at the tear-stained paper in front of her, covered in scribbles. Scribbles which, if you squinted hard enough, actually somewhat resembled letters, at least more than post-accident Lilac's writing had before. Yet, it was still illegible.

She was  _trying._ But nothing changed.

“Why ’s it so hard…?” she choked out between sniffles. “Why can't I but everybody else can…?”

Carol and Milla looked to each other, eyes soft with uncertainty. They both knew there was no good answer to that.


End file.
